05:28… while on the phone with Nay, I dropped a "live in the now" line on her. I can't quite remember how I got there, but I did say something like that to her and after a deposit just now, that's the line I'm thinking about the most right now.
Nay is compelled to dwell in what she has lost recently. Both her parents passed away not long ago and she had her longtime cat pass away too. I think it's healthy to grieve, but to keep going back to them in conversation isn't healthy.
Personally, I don't emotionally miss anything. I say to Bipasha that I miss her when she is not around, more because that usually makes her feel good, but I acknowledge that she is a great chef and we get along just swimmingly, but do I actually miss her when she's not here? No, I make the most of what I've got at the moment.
Emotions are a funny beast. People deal with them differently and that's one of the biggest difficulties in navigating through life with billions of other people.
Logically speaking, emotions don't always seem to make the most sense. They can be fun to play with, but they can also be a huge weight holding us down. In my desired "easy life," I understand that emotions can make things and decisions more difficult, which is why I can separate myself from them a little easier. Is it the healthiest mentally? I would debate on the side for it, because it hasn't hurt my mood and my interactions with others.
I've always tried to look at the big picture, trying to decide whether or not something is good for me and/or will make my life easier. I look at things or activities and assess what the benefits of the good are versus the cost of the bad. Clearly, that's what everyone should do for everything. Further to that, assessing the cost of good versus the value of the good thing.
I think this will take me back into the relationship thought process. The perfect relationship shouldn't take any work at all. You and your partner should enjoy the same things and dislike the same things. There are billions of people out there, there has to be someone who thinks like you. If you're going to settle for less, what is the cost of that? Emotions? Time? Money? Is it worth it to settle?
You might have that noted instinctual need to procreate. What's that worth to you? Most who answer that question with "everything," don't look at the big picture, in my opinion. The nature of procreation in life today seems to me to be just as destructive as it is productive. There are more than a few mistakes made, thanks to this instinctual need and as good as bringing new life into this world can be, are the overall costs of our lives and everything we enjoy worth it?
I would have paid that cost, if I didn't get away with making those mistakes, because I wasn't the most careful, but I am sure glad that it didn't cost me in the biggest picture, although everything would have turned out differently and I might still have my arm.
No, no… I'm not going to dwell in what could have been, I'm going to live in the now and accept where I am. I'll change what is needed, if I can and I'll just go on as such.
06:28… time to get up!
