12:52… I have moved to the couch, loading up my laptop, because I wasn’t feeling writing on my phone again. I wanted to see how this goes and work from there.
With New Year’s right around the corner, I’ve gotten to start thinking again and there are some things worth noting for me. All of the celebrations taking place around the world, which have already started in the Far East, don’t seem to be relatable to me anymore.
I guess you could say that I am growing colder in my 40’s, mostly because I don’t seem to care as much about anything nowadays. I’m not exactly getting evil, I’m just at a point of indifference about anything and everything. I’m definitely gaining more understanding for the storied hermits, in fiction and in reality, seeing that everyone else still seems to care about people, places and things and not feeling any relation to that idea.
This time of year is just full of empty sentiment, a lot of which people attach themselves to in order to gain a sense of belonging. I can definitely see how that would be important to those who feel the need for that kind of thing. For a lot of hermits, which is only just a guess, because I have much doubt that many of them have involved themselves in many official polls on the subject, they have likely come to the conclusion that nothing really matters in this universe. How far they have explored that idea will likely vary from hermit to hermit, but just understanding that nothing really matters can really free up a lot of energy in life.
When I boil down my understanding of life on this marble that we call Earth, a lot of popular beliefs fall to the wayside and by a lot, I basically mean all of them. What we know for sure is that humans, like all animals on this planet, are born, they live their life and then they die. Really easy and straightforward. Humans, throughout history, have been prone to want something more in just about every facet of our being. They have all wanted more meaning, reason and in most cases, more success.
I’m thinking that I have written this idea before, but instead of needing to go back through the archives, I’ll write it again, just to save time.
13:53… I like to think I have done a good job of figuring out how to live a pretty good life. Has it been the best possible result? No, probably not, but are there any regrets? No, nothing too terribly important in that regard. I’ve taken what has been presented to me, looked at it all with my logical mind, determining whether or not it made sense to me. I’ve had to be adaptable to a number of situations, giving a few things a try and determining whether or not they should be used going forward.
Popular ideas and/or beliefs in the world, like religion or relationships never made a lot of sense to me.
Religion has had its place throughout society, instilling a fear of eternal damnation if you don’t follow their rules. I can see how a need for an overarching supernatural judgmental spirit would be necessary for those who required a reason to follow said rules. The rules, themselves, have made a lot of sense through time, having the real good ones as the foundation of today’s laws in the present day. Sadly, there are a number of minds, especially in overarching positions of power, that have not evolved, like humans and society have.
I never thought anything in the Christian folklore made a whole lot of sense, so I never kept any of its reasoning close at hand. I’ve been a good person, more for the good spirited returns that I will see in this lifetime, rather than the make believe returns in the unproven afterlife.
Now, relationships… that’s a different beast. First, the animal's sense of mating… there hasn’t been a drive to branch out and start my own family. I’ve looked at a lot of examples of families in my life and I haven’t seen anything about them that I would like to attach myself to.
The time required for relationships is a ridiculous cost for an uncertain return. Personally, I’ve never met anyone who has appeared to me to be worth all that time spent. The early stages of a lot of relationships are definitely exciting, as you’re both learning about each other, physically and mentally.
The church’s idea of love and marriage definitely showcase their inability to evolve. I have definitely noticed that animals, not just humans, can change their minds about something.
To me, if I have found that person that I would consider to be my “perfect match,” I wouldn’t need a title or piece of paper to say so. The belief that my perfect match is out there is only just that… a belief. There is no proof of it being the case and the cost of trying to find that “special someone” is also exceptionally high.
I would say that finding that perfect match has some long odds associated with it. Society again bases their principles on the religious foundation that everyone is going to find someone, start a family and be happy with that idea. They teach everyone, from an early age, that if you don’t find someone, you’ll be lonely and sad.
The cost of trying to determine if someone is worth your time, money and well being is far too high, only to find out that they’re not. In theory, the perfect fit will be easy to determine, especially if you know what you’re looking for and need.
I think that dating nowadays is just the process of learning whether or not you would settle for them. You acknowledge that they’re not perfect, but someone you could stand to be around, more often than not, which won’t be a constant throughout your life. I, personally, don’t want to settle for someone, nor have someone settle for me. At the root of that idea, there is always room for improvement and that’s hardly a stable foundation to build anything on.
The time and money savings versus that little bit of good that a relationship can give you is an easy decision for me.
The social aspect of life is an important one. People need to deal with people in various ways to get what they need. Nourishment and shelter are necessary needs in life and society has made their acquisition an interactive feat. Friendship is another element to human interaction, be it another human or a pet. Friendship is a tricky element, again as people change throughout their lives.
Knowing people and hanging around them also carries the costs of time, money and well-being. I don’t have a large circle of close friends these days, mostly due to my availability and personality conflicts. People are always changing, myself included, and what everyone values is always at the root of friendship.
I’m sort of losing my train of thought… I think that I am a good person and I think that I can remain that way if I limit my social activity and my friends remain at a minimum. The costs just seem to be too high to have a large number of close friends. There are people that I know and would do nice things for, but keeping close friends can tend to be a chore.
The hermit life is appealing, controlling my interactions to the full hermit experience will be difficult, until I own my own place finally.
